Ever heard the expressions, “Avoid it like the plague” or “Wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot pole” or “Feed with a long handle spoon”? If you have, you know exactly what people mean when they say those phrases. If you haven’t, think of the least desired person, place, or object being part of your life everyday, up close and personal. Think of that dreaded  ____________ (you fill in the blank) being part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth or washing your face. For my youngest granddaughter that dread is focused on spinach.

When she was very little I decided that I would get her to appreciate one of my favorite vegetables spinach. She was determined not to eat it. For some reason she knew it was something she didn’t want and no amount of coaxing would get her to eat what I really enjoyed. If I’d had a 10-foot pole she would not have even touched the pole to touch the spinach!

Yet with all of her determination not to eat one thing that I enjoy eating, I still love her so very much! She is a talker, and we talk, and talk about everything. I enjoy the foods she likes, play the games she likes, and focus on other things we have in common. We spend most of our time coming together on the good things we share. Sometimes we even laugh and talk about the time grandmother tried to get her to eat spinach!

We give each other the benefit of the doubt when situations come up that cause us to experience each other. Some things we will be able to agree upon, others we will not. However, we give each other the benefit of the doubt, and look at things as they are in truth. At times she will not share my desire to do certain things, likewise I will not always want to share in activities that she desires, and we are always looking for that common ground where we can meet each other in agreement. That is what love does.

Love is an action word, a commitment. It is a conscious act of our will to do something for someone. That someone can be others or ourselves. It is a deliberate, volitional doing of something to nurture and grow someone. While we all know how to push away from someone or something, with a 10-foot pole, do we really know how to LOVE? Do we surround ourselves with love? How many loving things do you do everyday for yourself, for others?

More than focus on what we don’t want in this life, we need to focus on what we do want. What we focus on becomes bigger in our lives. My favorite book says that we are to “Love our neighbor as ourselves”.  Take inventory in your life today, what do you focus on? Are you using a lot of long handled spoons and engaging in dread, or do you love more and more. Just like my granddaughter had a choice all along to choose what she will do, you too have a choice, an option to exercise love and focus on relationships that will nourish you and others.
Today, take inventory and take action to grow those things, relationships and experiences you want by placing your focus on them instead of those things you dread. You have a choice, mark it on your calendar this day, practice more ways to love you neighbor and yourself!

Please share some of the ways you love yourself and others! Feel free to email me personally or reply here. Remember what we focus on grows!

Love,
Deborah